What if the jolly present-postman followed the latest food fads? It would be out with the baked goods and in with the meat substitutes and kale
It’s the night before Christmas and all through the house … but when the man in the red suit finally makes his appearance, complete with his bag of goodies, and still has millions of stops to make – what food to leave to give him the energy he needs to stay merry on his way?
In an increasingly food and health-conscious world are the old milk and cookies, mince pie and eggnog option still good enough or should we be thinking about some new options for Santa, to cater to his new-found consciousness of what he’s putting in that already overloaded body of his?
Here are some suggestions for alternatives that won’t leave the jolly present-postman feeling tired and bloated after his last delivery has been made.
KALE AND MORE KALE
A superfood for a superdude. Kale is the latest craze among healthy eaters – it’s high in nutrients, antioxidants and vitamin C and aids in lowering cholesterol. Also, they sell it at Woolies so it must be good for you, right?
With a heavy schedule and a big heart what better way to help out Santa than to leave kale chips with a kale, cucumber and wheatgrass smoothie thrown in for good measure? He’ll be full of the joys of vitamins and green stuff and energised for his travels.
BANTING BREAKFAST AND BUBBLY
Santa first became aware of the Banting craze a few years ago when it seemed every Christmas stocking from Parkhurst to Constantia had to contain a copy of The Real Meal Revolution. Intrigued, he took a copy home to Mrs Claus, but she wasn’t convinced, so he dropped the idea of adopting a high-fat, low-carb diet.
Santa first became aware of the Banting craze a few years ago when it seemed every Christmas stocking from Parkhurst to Constantia had to contain a copy of ‘The Real Meal Revolution’
However, over the years, he’s been known to like to sneak the odd Banting breakfast. A little bacon, a little sausage and eggs with a side of rocket, all cooked in coconut oil of course, and served with a glass of bubbly, should do the trick to ensure Santa gets his fix of the diet craze, if not its long-term benefits.
Santa’s a relatively modern creation, so he wasn’t around during the time of our prehistoric ancestors. However, he’s never averse to trying new things so, if you want to convince him of the benefits of the paleo diet’s adherence to prehistoric eating habits, perhaps a lean cut of bison served with asparagus, pumpkin and nuts and a side of mango sorbet might do the trick.
Leave a motivational note, though, as experts do like to remind that our ancestors didn’t just eat better, they exercised more in their daily lives too, meaning one night on a sleigh just won’t cut it if Mr Claus hopes to see the benefits.
Depending on how much of a vegan you are, the idea of a man who rides a sled pulled by reindeer and likes to stomp around in a pair of leather boots might mean that you’re inclined to block off the chimney.
If you do have a heart, however, and want to use this annual visit to convert the jolly man to your eating habits, why not start with some of the surprisingly tasty meat-substitute products the vegan world has to offer? A plate of vegan biltong, some vegan boerie and a glass of beetroot juice might just entertain his palate long enough for you to sneak out and free Rudolph and his crew from the yoke of festive fascism.